Disclaimer:
I own none of this. Those who do know who they are.
WARNING:
some fighting and connotative language
I rate this as roughly Y-14, maybe
higher.
Poultry
Problems Part 1
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Time: shortly after receiving new vehicles and
weapons and Joe's
return
(Gatch II)
Where:
Nambu's office, mid-morning.
"But
WHY, hakase?!" I know you say outdated, but let's go with the
old
look and still keep the new improvements!"
"No
Ken."
"I
AM NOT driving that...that henpecker on another mission! No babe
value
in it whatsoever!"
"I
said no, Joe."
"And
we have NO personal vehicles! You took away my Cessna, so I
got
fired from my mail job, and now I have nothing to fly offduty
and NO
money at all!"
"You
were gonna get fired anyway, Ken. No calls, no shows..."
"Shut
up, Joe! At least I had a REAL job!"
"Racing's
real! Need more balls for that than playing flying postman."
"I
said shut up, Joe!"
"Make
me." Joe murmured with a smirk as he gave Ken the 'bird'.
"Tweet,
tweet, bowser boy."
Ken
lunged, throwing himself and Joe into the couch behind them, which
under
their momentum, flipped over sending both into the wall with a
resounding
thud.
"Are
you two little boys through with your little spat. I have more
important
matters to attend to."
"Mmmpf...Joe,
get off of me, you pervert! Hakase's talking to us!"
"And
Golden boy's just gotta jump, eh?"
SLAP!
"Gee
Ken, I didn't know you loved me so."
"Joe
you jerk! We're totally off topic! We came here to get rid of
the
poultry vehicles, remember?!"
"Oh
yeah, but I'm still gonna whoop your butt later."
"Sure,
whatever. I'm really shaking."
Joe
remained quiet. He had yet to reveal his new 'inner'self which
would
enable him to crush human bone. Though he'd never use it against
his
teammates, he knew the upperhand was always his now.
He
helped Ken pull the couch upright and nodded for Ken to continue
the
conversation with Nambu who was now scowling and shaking his head.
"Hakase,
I have a propo--"
"We"
Joe interrupted.
"WE,
have a proposition for you. "Ken corrected.
Nambu
hid his urge to chuckle. These two, trying to be serious and
business-like
while looking the way they do (t-shirts, long, straggly
hair,etc)
was simply hilarious. Not-to-mention, neither of them
experienced
enough to understand the formalities of business etiquette.
Still,
it was cute to see them try as they so often did
as kids
before, using lines from television shows.
"Ok,
Ken, Joe, I'm listening."
"Hakase,
WE propose that WE will use aforementioned poultry vehicles
on
missions if WE can have our old vehicles for our civvy mode. They
don't
have to transform. WE just want them for everyday use for our
civvy
lives."
"You
don't havta emphasize 'we' so often. I think Hakase and myself
fully
understood you the first time."
"Shut
up, Joe."
"Blow
me, Ken."
"You'd
like that wouldn't you."
"Hey
wait! I have an idea!"
"You
Joe?!"
"Shut
up, Ken."
"Hakase,
if you do this, I'll...I'll give you a nice Sicilian one.
It's
against my reputation as a lady's man, but this is worth it."
Ken
slammed his own head into a wall several times.
"Uh,
no Joe, I don't think I'll be needing one."
Ken put
his arm around Joe. "So does that offer stand for your 'other'
commander
as well?"
"Hell
no! You ain't got nuthin' to give me! Hakase's got my blue baby,
you
don't! And stop touchin' me! You're giving me the creeps!"
Ken
moved away from the ready to erupt Sicilian.
"I
will CONSIDER your offer." Nambu calmly stated.
"The
blow job?!"
"No
Joe. The proposition with the poultry vehicles."
Ken
knocked on Joe's head. "Hello? Anyone there? Idiot!"
"K'so!"
"What're
ya gonna do Joe, beat me again?"
"Toast
the Eagle on a BBQ and use the Clucker-1 for a lapdance
table
at a nudie bar."
"You
can have the Clucker-1! But, I will NOT allow myself to participate
as the
lead role in your BBQ!" Ken then bit back a laugh,
"Clucker-1?!
Perfect name for it." he thought.
"Then
you owe me a blow job." Joe muttered.
"I
don't fly that way. Is that ALL you have on your mind?"
"You
wanted me to do that to you previously."
"I
was kidding, Joe."
"Could've
fooled me."
"Just
get your mind out of the gutter for a few seconds, Joe."
"Fine.
I'm thinking about beatin' the crap outta you now."
"Oooohhh,
and I suppose I should be scared now."
"You
should be. When I get through with you, Jun's gonna havta lose
interest
in you cause you won't have nuthin' down there to please
her
with."
Ken
cringed inside. He now knew where the Condor was going to focus
his
fight.
"WILL
YOU TWO GET OUT! I have important matters to attend to! I don't
need to
hear you two bitching and moaning in an infatile struggle
of
superiority and machismo!"
"Yes,
Hakase. Sorry." Ken and Joe said in unison as they quietly left
Nambu's
office.
to be
continued in Pt.2